Hello friends! It’s Al.
For those of you who don’t follow me on Facebook, I made a post about finally stepping into the heinous sunlight to be accepted into your strained society. This is me:
Yes, as I have said prior, your favorite (hopefully) cryptid smut writer is, in fact, a cryptid. Surprise! I hope you like surprises. I certainly do, but you may be wondering: what else does Al like? What are their endeavors? Hopes? Dreams? Well, to answer the latter, I don’t dream. If I did, I’m sure it would be of ghastly, unspeakable horrors.
That said, I’m glad I don’t dream. One can only dwell in dank, musty places out of sight for so long before you yearn for the acceptance of fellow man-shaped meat bags. That is why I am here! I wish to take your joy and your enthusiasm for carnal pleasures to fill the hollow cavity within my chest.
To start, my true name is obviously not Aloyster Crowlay. It makes you smile, though, doesn’t it? A play on the name of a famous occultist of dubious history, of course. I like it better than my real name, which would cause the human jaw to twist in unnatural ways should you attempt to speak it (you shouldn’t). Al has a nice ring to it though. It sounds very amicable and friendly; short, sweet, to the point. It’s a good name.
Gender? No. That’s the simple answer. You may refer to me as ‘they/them’. I am both and neither, so it’s nice to keep it simple. I am very familiar with the various parts of humans and their functions, which of course lends itself to my work. I think you can read my first book and see that the workings do not escape me.
Where did I come from? Well, see, it’s a funny story actually. Back a few centuries ago there were these secret orgies held by the bourgeoisie, and as ceremonial magic had taken Europe by storm, there were… Experiments akin to what Eliphas Levi writes about in some of his more famous tomes. Being of moderately progressive mindsets, a group of daring individuals decided to “cross the streams” as you would say today, and in a whirlwind of sex and sacrifice (and so much blood) I was born! Did I exist before this ritual? I have no idea. I’m sure the stag skull I use for a head had a life somewhere, but its essence has all but vacated since I moved in. I can’t say I blame it. I’ve been told my presence is overwhelming.
You may be asking yourself now ‘but if you’re not human Al, why do you have a human body?’ Dear reader, I ask you: How would you feel if I had a different kind of body? Does it not bring you at least a little comfort to see a familiar form, skewed though it may be? It’s not a perfect body. I can only change my true self so much and many of those flaws hide under the clothes, but it’s hard to manifest a human head that looks the same every time. So many details. Believe me, this is for your benefit.
I have said it before. I want to bring you joy. Why? Well, that’s for me to know and for you to submit to. 😉 My hope is to follow with many more interesting stories to captivate and arouse you. May you thoroughly enjoy what I put out. It is my hope that these books can bring forth the sensations that are purely, blissfully human within you. In a world full of darkness, let some light reading be a respite before you go back into the dangerous streets.
May you enjoy as many dick jokes as possible.
Until next time!
Aloyster Crowlay 